Giải đề IELTS WRITING TASK 1: International graduates, Canadian universities, 2001-2006

Đề bài IELTS Writing Task 1: The graph below shows the percentage change in the number of international students graduating from universities in different Canadian provinces between 2001 and 2006. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

International graduates, Canadian universities, 2001-2006

Bước 1: Phân tích chung đề bài IELTS Writing Task 1

Đề bài

What: đề bài nói về cái gì	the percentage change in the number of international students graduating from universities	Sự thay đổi trong tỷ lệ số học sinh ngoại quốc tốt nghiệp đại học
Where: ở đâu	different Canadian provinces	Ở các tính của Canada
When: khi nào	between 2001 and 2006	Năm 2001 và 2006

Biểu đồ

Tiêu đề của biểu đồ	International graduates, Canadian universities, 2001-2006	Số sinh viên nước ngoài tốt nghiệp, các trường đại học tại Canada, 2001 – 2006
Trục tung (dữ liệu, đơn vị là gì)	8 provinces	8 tỉnh
Trục hoành (dữ liệu, đơn vị là gì)	percent	%
Phần chú giải	2001, 2006	năm 2001, năm 2006
Đơn vị biểu đồ	percent	%

Bước 2: Chọn ý chính – lập dàn ý, chia đoạn cho bài IELTS Writing Task 1

(Tham khảo các tóm tắt ý, chia đoạn tại đây)

General ideas: tìm ý chính (đặc điểm nổi bật, xu hướng trong TOÀN BỘ thời gian biểu đồ )

• New Brunswick: overall higher than others
• British Columbia: the most significant increase overall
• Foreign students account for a small proportion
• % international graduates increased

Paragraphing: Chia đoạn (ý chính được làm rõ bằng các ý cụ thể và số liệu)

Body paragraph 1:

General idea: Over the five-year period, while New Brunswick was overall higher than others, British Columbia recorded the most significant increase overall.

Specific ideas + Details:

• In 2001, New Brunswick was at around 7%, closely followed by Nova Scotia.
• 5 years later, New Brunswick had a marked increase of over 4%, maintaining its leading position.
• As for British Columbia, starting at a little over 4%, at the fifth position, it had the fastest growth of 6%, becoming the runner-up in the chart.

Body paragraph 2:

General idea: A closer look at the chart reveals that foreign graduates accounted for a small proportion, however, an overall upward trend was visible.

Specific ideas + Details:

• In 2001, all eight provinces had from 3% to 7% foreign graduates.
• Despite strong growth in the percentages of international degree holders over the next five years, the proportion was overall less than 12%.
• 7 out of 8 provinces showed an increase. The only province with a downward trend was Alberta with a decrease of 1%.

Bước 3: Viết bài hoàn chỉnh.

Introduction: Choose from 1 of these:

1. The information illustrated in the chart represents the percentage variance in the count of foreign students completing their studies in eight Canadian regions from 2001 to 2006.
2. The diagram provided displays the fluctuation in the proportion of international students who graduated from universities located in different provinces of Canada during the period from 2001 to 2006.
3. The graph below exhibits the percentage alteration in the figure of foreign pupils who finished their academic programs in eight Canadian regions within the time frame of 2001 and 2006.
4. The chart illustrates the change in the percentage of international learners graduating from universities in different provinces of Canada during the period from 2001 to 2006.
5. The visual representation below depicts the variation in the proportion of students from overseas who completed their studies in eight Canadian provinces from 2001 to 2006.

Lưu ý về paraphrasing:

• represents ~ displays ~ exhibits ~ illustrates ~ depicts
• the percentage variance in the count of ~ the fluctuation in the proportion of ~  the percentage alteration in the figure of ~ the change in the percentage of ~  the variation in the proportion of
• foreign students completing their studies ~ international students who graduated from universities ~ foreign pupils who finished their academic programs ~  international learners graduating from universities ~ students from overseas who completed their studies

Introduction + Body paragraphs + Overview/Conclusion

The chart illustrates the change in the percentage of international learners graduating from universities in different provinces of Canada during the period from 2001 to 2006.

Over the five-year period, while New Brunswick was overall higher than others, British Columbia recorded the most significant increase overall. In 2001, New Brunswick was at around 7%, closely followed by Nova Scotia. 5 years later, New Brunswick had a marked increase of over 4%, maintaining its leading position. As for British Columbia, starting at a little over 4%, at the fifth position, it had the fastest growth of 6%, becoming the runner-up in the chart.

A closer look at the chart reveals that foreign graduates accounted for a small proportion, however, an overall upward trend was visible. In 2001, all eight provinces had from 3% to 7% foreign graduates. Despite strong growth in the percentages of international degree holders over the next five years, the proportion was overall less than 12%. In which, 7 out of 8 provinces showed an increase. The only province with a downward trend was Alberta with a decrease of 1%.

In summary, out of 7 regions with an upward trend, New Brunswick had the most international pupils graduating from universities in both 2001 and 2006. However, British Columbia recorded the most substantial rise.

(215 words)

Bước 4: Kiểm tra lại. Đánh giá, nhận xét và cải thiện bài viết.

Xem nhận xét cụ thể tại đây:

General assessment:

• Task Achievement: The writer has summarized the main features and made relevant comparisons in the essay, which effectively addresses the given task question. Band score: 8
• Coherence and Cohesion: The essay has a clear overall structure and the ideas are logically presented with good use of linking words. Some sentences are slightly awkwardly worded, but they do not significantly affect the coherence of the essay. Band score: 7
• Lexical Resource: The writer has used a range of vocabulary to describe the data and make comparisons. However, there is some repetition and lack of variety in vocabulary use. Band score: 7
• Grammatical Range and Accuracy: The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentences, and the grammar is mostly accurate with some minor errors. Band score: 7

Overall band score: 7.5

Original version	Improved version
The chart illustrates the change in the percentage of international learners graduating from universities in different provinces of Canada during the period from 2001 to 2006.	The graph depicts the fluctuations in the proportion of overseas students who completed their studies at universities located in diverse regions of Canada between 2001 and 2006.
Over the five-year period, while New Brunswick was overall higher than others, British Columbia recorded the most significant increase overall. In 2001, New Brunswick was at around 7%, closely followed by Nova Scotia. 5 years later, New Brunswick had a marked increase of over 4%, maintaining its leading position. As for British Columbia, starting at a little over 4%, at the fifth position, it had the fastest growth of 6%, becoming the runner-up in the chart.	During the observed five-year span, although New Brunswick had the highest percentage of foreign graduates, British Columbia experienced the most substantial surge overall. In the initial year, New Brunswick held the top spot with approximately 7% of international students graduating, followed closely by Nova Scotia. By the end of the period, New Brunswick had witnessed a marked increase of more than 4%, retaining its leading position. Meanwhile, British Columbia, which initially ranked fifth with slightly over 4% of foreign graduates, experienced the most rapid growth, with a significant surge of 6%, becoming the runner-up in the chart.
A closer look at the chart reveals that foreign graduates accounted for a small proportion, however, an overall upward trend was visible. In 2001, all eight provinces had from 3% to 7% foreign graduates. Despite strong growth in the percentages of international degree holders over the next five years, the proportion was overall less than 12%. In which, 7 out of 8 provinces showed an increase. The only province with a downward trend was Alberta with a decrease of 1%.	Further analysis of the data shows that although international students constituted a relatively small proportion of total graduates, there was an overall upward trend. In the initial year, each of the eight provinces had between 3% and 7% of foreign graduates. Despite robust growth in the percentages of overseas degree holders over the following five years, the overall proportion remained under 12%, with seven of the eight provinces experiencing an increase. The only exception was Alberta, which experienced a decline of 1%.
In summary, out of 7 regions with an upward trend, New Brunswick had the most international pupils graduating from universities in both 2001 and 2006. However, British Columbia recorded the most substantial rise.	To summarize, although seven of the regions experienced an upward trend, New Brunswick had the highest number of international students graduating from universities in both 2001 and 2006. Nevertheless, British Columbia experienced the most significant growth, with the most substantial increase in the proportion of foreign graduates.