Đề bài IELTS Writing Task 1: The graph below shows the percentage change in places where students lived over five decades. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Types of student accommodation, 1960s-2000s. Bước 1: Phân tích chung đề bài IELTS Writing Task 1 Đề bài What: đề bài nói về cái gì the percentage change in places where students lived Tỷ lệ thay đổi đối với những địa điểm cư trú của sinh viên Where: ở đâu N/A Không có thông tin When: khi nào over five decades, 1960s-2000s. 5 thập kỷ, từ những năm 60 tới những năm 2000. Biểu đồ Tiêu đề của biểu đồ Types of student accommodation, 1960s-2000s. Loại hình cư trú của sinh viên, 1960s-2000s Trục tung (dữ liệu, đơn vị là gì) Percentage of students % sinh viên Trục hoành (dữ liệu, đơn vị là gì) years năm Phần chú giải Room in a share house or flat with other students Students hall of residence Paying guest with a host family At home with own family Phòng trong nhà chung hoặc căn hộ với sinh viên khác Kí túc xá sinh viên Người trả tiền lưu trú tại nhà của gia đình chủ nhà Ở nhà với gia đình của chính mình Đơn vị biểu đồ % % Bước 2: Chọn ý chính – lập dàn ý, chia đoạn cho bài IELTS Writing Task 1 (Tham khảo các tóm tắt ý, chia đoạn tại đây) General ideas: tìm ý chính (đặc điểm nổi bật, xu hướng trong TOÀN BỘ thời gian biểu đồ ) overall increase: sharing houses/flats with other steady decrease: staying with host families others: fluctuation in a downward trend Paragraphing: Chia đoạn (ý chính được làm rõ bằng các ý cụ thể và số liệu) Phương án 1: Chia đoạn theo mốc thời gian Body paragraph 1: 60s-70s General idea: opposite trends at moderation (General) Specific ideas + Details: sharing + hall: increase by 5% (Specific + Detail) host + own house: decrease by 5% (Specific + Detail) Body paragraph 2: 70s - 80s General idea: only sharing was on the rise. Specific ideas + Details: the most significant increase to 60% Other decreased by 10% and 5% Body paragraph 3: 80s - 00s General idea: sharing: steady increase of 5% each year => accounted for the lion share of 70%, others had mixed performances. Specific ideas + Details: both owing a house and living at halls made up 12.5% 5% staying with a host family Bước 3: Viết bài hoàn chỉnh. Introduction: The following chart illustrates the fluctuations in the proportions ofthe locations of students' residences across a period of fifty years. The graph presented below demonstratespercentage alterations in the areas where students dwelled during a span of five decades. The graph below portrays the percentage change in the places of habitation for students over a period of fifty years. The following chart showcases the changes inthe percentage of the locations where students resided during a period of fifty years. The given graph depicts the percentage variation in the living places of students over the course of five decades. Lưu ý về paraphrasing: the percentage variance ~ the fluctuation in the proportion of ~ the percentage alteration in the ~ the change in the percentage of ~ the variation in the proportion of The following chart ~ The graph presented below ~ The given graph over the course of five decades~ during a period of fifty years ~ lover a period of fifty years ~ during a span of five decades ~ across a period of fifty years. the locations of students' residences ~ the areas where students dwelled~ the places of habitation for students ~ the locations where students resided ~ the living places of students Introduction + Body paragraphs + Overview/Conclusion The given graph depicts the percentage variation in the living places of students over the course of five decades. The first decade witnessed two opposite trends with a moderate change in the proportion. While both sharing houses and living in halls increased by 5 percent to 40% and 20% respectively, staying with host families and staying with own families decreased by 5% to 30% and 10% respectively. In the next ten years, sharing accommodations with friends was the only option was on the rise. A substantial increase of 20% made house-sharing become the most popular choice among students chosen by three fifths. In turn, other options decreased by 10% and 5%. Over the course of next thirty years, while other minor options had mixed performance, living with friends in shared accommodations experienced a steady increase of 5% each ten-year period, peaking and accounting for the lion share of 70% in the 200s. Despite one fluctuating and the other increasing toward the end, both living at halls and living at own homes made up 12.5%. The most substantial decrease of 30% overall was witnessed in the figure of staying with a host family, it ended up being the least common reason with only 5%. In summary, the majority of students chose to live with friends in shared places, and more and more students moved away from host families. (227 words) Bước 4: Kiểm tra lại. Đánh giá, nhận xét và cải thiện bài viết. Xem nhận xét cụ thể tại đây: Uncommon lexical items which can be used: Proportion -> Percentage distribution Accommodations -> Lodgings Lion share -> Majority Fluctuating -> Oscillating Witnessed -> Experienced Peaking -> Reaching a peak General evaluation of the essay: Task Achievement: The essay addresses all parts of the task question and provides a clear and concise summary of the information presented in the graph. The writer also makes relevant comparisons where necessary. Band score: 8 Coherence and Cohesion: The essay is well-organized and ideas are logically sequenced. The writer uses a range of cohesive devices appropriately, making the essay easy to follow. Band score: 8 Lexical Resource: The writer uses a range of vocabulary accurately, although some common lexical items are repeated. The essay also includes some less common words and phrases. Band score: 7 Grammatical Range and Accuracy: The essay includes some minor grammatical errors but overall, the writer demonstrates a good range of structures and uses them accurately. Band score: 7.5 Original sentence Improved sentence The given graph depicts the percentage variation in the living places of students over the course of five decades. The provided graph illustrates the percentage fluctuation in students' places of residence over a span of five decades. The first decade witnessed two opposite trends with a moderate change in the proportion. In the initial ten years, there were two divergent tendencies with a moderate shift in the ratio. While both sharing houses and living in halls increased by 5 percent to 40% and 20% respectively, staying with host families and staying with own families decreased by 5% to 30% and 10% respectively. Although the percentage of students living in shared houses and halls increased by 5% to 40% and 20% correspondingly, the proportion of those residing with host and own families reduced by 5% to 30% and 10% respectively. In the next ten years, sharing accommodations with friends was the only option was on the rise. A substantial increase of 20% made house-sharing become the most popular choice among students chosen by three fifths. In turn, other options decreased by 10% and 5%. During the following decade, the only alternative that increased was sharing lodgings with peers. A significant surge of 20% resulted in shared houses becoming the most favored preference among students, selected by three-fifths of them. Meanwhile, other choices decreased by 10% and 5%. Over the course of next thirty years, while other minor options had mixed performance, living with friends in shared accommodations experienced a steady increase of 5% each ten-year period, peaking and accounting for the lion share of 70% in the 200s. During the subsequent thirty years, while other less significant options demonstrated an inconsistent trend, the percentage of students living in shared dwellings with friends had a stable growth rate of 5% every decade. Eventually, it reached its peak in the 200s, constituting the majority at 70%. Despite one fluctuating and the other increasing toward the end, both living at halls and living at own homes made up 12.5%. While one showed variability, and the other showed an upward trend towards the end, the proportion of students residing in halls and their own residences remained constant at 12.5%. The most substantial decrease of 30% overall was witnessed in the figure of staying with a host family, it ended up being the least common reason with only 5%. The most significant drop of 30% was observed in the proportion of students opting to reside with a host family, which became the least preferred choice, accounting for only 5%. In summary, the majority of students chose to live with friends in shared places, and more and more students moved away from host families. To summarize, a significant proportion of students opted to cohabitate with peers in communal dwellings, and an increasing number of students transitioned away from residing with host families. A final refined version: Original sentence Improved sentence The given graph depicts the percentage variation in the living places of students over the course of five decades. The provided chart illustrates the percentage fluctuation in students’ dwelling places over five decades. The first decade witnessed two opposite trends with a moderate change in the proportion. While both sharing houses and living in halls increased by 5 percent to 40% and 20% respectively, staying with host families and staying with own families decreased by 5% to 30% and 10% respectively. In the first decade, there were two contrasting tendencies with a moderate variation in the ratio. Sharing houses and residing in halls increased by 5% each, to 40% and 20%, respectively, while staying with host families and in own homes dropped by 5% each, to 30% and 10%, respectively. In the next ten years, sharing accommodations with friends was the only option was on the rise. A substantial increase of 20% made house-sharing become the most popular choice among students chosen by three fifths. In turn, other options decreased by 10% and 5%. During the following decade, cohabiting with friends was the only option on the rise. House-sharing saw a significant increase of 20%, becoming the most popular choice among students, selected by three-fifths of them. Meanwhile, other alternatives decreased by 10% and 5%. Over the course of next thirty years, while other minor options had mixed performance, living with friends in shared accommodations experienced a steady increase of 5% each ten-year period, peaking and accounting for the lion share of 70% in the 200s. Despite one fluctuating and the other increasing toward the end, both living at halls and living at own homes made up 12.5%. The most substantial decrease of 30% overall was witnessed in the figure of staying with a host family, it ended up being the least common reason with only 5%. Over the subsequent thirty years, while other minor options had mixed performance, living with friends in shared accommodation experienced a steady annual increase of 5%, peaking at 70% in the 200s. Despite a fluctuation in one and an upward trend in the other, living in halls and own homes each accounted for 12.5%. The most substantial decrease of 30% overall was observed in staying with host families, which ended up being the least common option at only 5%. In summary, the majority of students chose to live with friends in shared places, and more and more students moved away from host families. In conclusion, the majority of students preferred to reside with friends in shared accommodations, while an increasing number of them moved away from staying with host families. (209 words) Phương án 2: Chia đoạn theo loại hình cư trú Bước 2: Chọn ý chính – lập dàn ý, chia đoạn cho bài IELTS Writing Task 1 Body paragraph 1: overall increase: sharing houses/flats with others + steady decrease: staying with host families General:Both started at 35%, sharing houses/flats doubled during the given period, staying with host families: decreased consistently Specific + detail: sharing stared at 35, the most significant increase of 20% was witnessed in 80s, other periods 5%, peaking at 70% in 2000s Specific + detail:staying with host families decreased 10% in 80s and 90s, other periods decrease by 5%, ending at .... Body paragraph 2: others: fluctuation in a downward trend General:fluctuations were recorded in the percentage for both residing in halls and staying with their own families; however, an overall decrease was visible. Specific + detail:halls: 5% fluctuation from the 60s to 90s, then down to 12,5% Specific + detail:home: 5% decrease for the first 20 years, followed by a plateau of 5%, then increasing to 12.5% Bước 3: Viết bài hoàn chỉnh. The following chart showcases the changes in the percentage of the locations where students resided during a period of fifty years. A noticeable feature is that living with friends in shared accommodation experienced a general upward trajectory, while the opposite was true for living with host families. Both started at 35%, sharing houses or flats doubled during the given period, in contrast, staying with host families decreased consistently throughout. Its proportion decreased 10% in the 80s and 90s, went down by 5% in other periods, ending at only 5% at the end. Sharing option stared at 35, and witnessed the most significant increase of 20% in the 80s, it went up by 5% in other periods, then reached a peak at 70% in 2000s. Meanwhile fluctuations were recorded in the percentage of both residing in halls and staying with their own families; however, an overall decrease was visible. Specifically, residing in student halls recorded ups and downs of 5 percent for the first 40 years, the the figure came down to 12,5% at the end period. As for staying with families had an decrease of 10% for the first 20 years, followed by a plateau at 5%, then increased to 12.5% Overall, cohabiting with friends in shared placed was favorable option, while having a host family quickly become the last resort for students when it came to choosing a place to live. (234 words) Bước 4: Kiểm tra lại. Đánh giá, nhận xét và cải thiện bài viết. Xem nhận xét cụ thể tại đây: General evaluation of the essay: Task Achievement: 7.0. The essay fulfills the task requirements by summarizing the main features of the graph and making comparisons where relevant. However, some information could have been presented more clearly. Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0. The essay uses some appropriate linking words and phrases to connect sentences, but the progression of ideas could be improved. Lexical Resource: 6.0. The essay uses some appropriate vocabulary and collocations but lacks sufficient variety and complexity. There are some inaccuracies and repetition of words. Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8.0. The essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures and accurate use of grammar. Overall Band Score: 7.0 Original version Improved version The following chart showcases the changes in the percentage of the locations where students resided during a period of fifty years. The chart depicts the shifts in the percentage of student accommodations over a five-decade period. A noticeable feature is that living with friends in shared accommodation experienced a general upward trajectory, while the opposite was true for living with host families. Both started at 35%, sharing houses or flats doubled during the given period, in contrast, staying with host families decreased consistently throughout. Its proportion decreased 10% in the 80s and 90s, went down by 5% in other periods, ending at only 5% at the end. Sharing option stared at 35, and witnessed the most significant increase of 20% in the 80s, it went up by 5% in other periods, then reached a peak at 70% in 2000s. Notably, shared living with friends exhibited a marked upward trend, while living with host families experienced a sharp decline. Commencing at 35%, the proportion of students sharing apartments or houses doubled during the specified period, whereas staying with host families decreased consistently throughout. The percentage of students staying with host families declined by 10% in the 80s and 90s, and 5% in other periods, ultimately reaching a mere 5% at the end. Sharing accommodation commenced at 35% and experienced a substantial surge of 20% in the 80s. It continued to rise by 5% in other decades, culminating in a peak of 70% in the 2000s. Meanwhile fluctuations were recorded in the percentage of both residing in halls and staying with their own families; however, an overall decrease was visible. Specifically, residing in student halls recorded ups and downs of 5 percent for the first 40 years, the figure came down to 12,5% at the end period. As for staying with families had a decrease of 10% for the first 20 years, followed by a plateau at 5%, then increased to 12.5%. While fluctuations were observed in the percentage of students residing in halls and staying with their own families, an overall decrease was evident. Specifically, the percentage of students residing in student halls fluctuated by 5% for the first 40 years before decreasing to 12.5% at the end of the period. In contrast, the percentage of students staying with families decreased by 10% during the first 20 years, plateaued at 5%, and then increased to 12.5%. Overall, cohabiting with friends in shared places was a favorable option, while having a host family quickly became the last resort for students when it came to choosing a place to live. Overall, sharing accommodation with friends emerged as the most popular option, while staying with host families became increasingly unpopular for students seeking a place to live. (221 words)